Bossy's Musings

Time Flies no matter what

2010-10-27T20:19:00.000-07:00

It's been a while. Sometimes I think it is better not to be so content if one wants to write. Given a choice, I am happy to read, hike, play with the dogs, work with my clients, or just sit and contemplate nature. However, I need to write. If I don't get my damn book to the publisher soon, it will loom over me like a giant Halloween monster dressed in grim Father Time clothing. So I am making an announcement: I will finish the book by Thanksgiving. Period.

France this past summer seemed like the perfect place to write. However the minute we arrive I go into such joyous delirium that I cozy on in to reading, hiking, eating, and just being. And then we bought another house which needs renovation. In my dotage. What were we thinking?

Well we were thinking that we have always loved the house right down the rue from us. We were thinking how nice it would be to have a slightly larger place. We were thinking how cool a twelfth century tower is, how interesting it would be to renovate it, how convenient to have a guest room, how nice to have the surrounding gardens and terraces for the dogs. We were also thinking it was a sane thing to do. We shall see. One thing for sure is that it didn't leave time for me to write anything.

I'm reforming. You'll see. I just returned from a week at Cal-A-Vie getting in top physical shape for the ordeal, which involves putting my butt on a chair and my fingers on the mouse. I lost seven pounds and eight total inches in a week while eating their incredible food, hiking in the hills north of San Diego and being indulged beyond compare. It didn't work. I got distracted.

I was drawn by unseen forces to reorganize my closets and my office, which was way beyond embarrassing, and tomorrow I am going to put the final touches on things. Then I can write.

But, wait, there's more. I have to leave for Albuquerque on Wed. to work for three days. I return on a Saturday, and I can't write on a Saturday or Sunday. Looks like I've targeted Monday, November 8th. Stay tuned. We'll see.

It's about Time

2010-06-14T07:29:00.000-07:00

Yes, I procrastinate. Every day I say that I will get back to my blog, but...

Life is moving along, which it tends to do. In the last month, I've had equal moments of work and play, which is perfect. Got to spend a week in Provincetown getting the condo in shape to rent out for the season. The weather was breathtaking and, as always, Ptown was relaxing and easy.

Fortunately Milton Kelley came up from Beaufort and whipped the place into shape before I knew it. In the meantime, Andrew Sullivan was generous enough to let me stay at his place so I didn't have to inhale paint fumes and trip over carpentry, so I got to watch the full moon rising over the bay and listen to the tide coming in underneath me.

Then, on to the Mountain, where I organized? and removed tons of stuff to make room for a wonderful tenant, Jason. Breaks my heart to turn the cabin over to someone else, but since I have to, Jason is perfect. He is a wonderful, responsible, charming young man who will love it as much as I do. It is so much fun to talk to someone who recognizes the energy in that spot of the universe. I'm sending him the plans for a labyrinth and am hoping he'll have time to build it.

The Endless Mountains are gorgeous and fill me with such joy. I can't be unhappy in that place. I get so jazzed being there that it makes me feel slightly insane.

Now I'm trying to get Edgewater on track so it will be ready for the wonderful Milton who will be living here.

All that, and I still have my "other" job. I am not ambitious, don't want to run an empire, so I get to work with clients who find me, which means that they are pre-selected for compatibility. All I want is to do what I love with people I love and get paid for it. Not much to ask, but rare. I'm so lucky that it happens and continues to grow just enough to keep me busy. So, off to Atlanta and then Boston.

As for the blog: the reason I think I dropped it is because I bore myself with all this tittle-tattle, or whatever. I read my friend, Ellen Herrick's blog, and feel like a first-grader trying to figure out what to draw on the paper. In any case, it am what it am, and now you know.

Inch by Inch

2010-01-15T09:29:00.000-08:00

Well, I am on my way! Ate well yesterday, worked out, and got tons of work done. Today, I am sitting in the sun in South Carolina, listening to the birds and thrilled to, once again, know that I can kick myself upside the head when necessary.

Life is life.

2010-01-14T07:48:00.000-08:00

Yes, it has been a while.

Even though life is great in many aspects, and basically good, things still jump up and block the pretty view. Since shortly after my last post, I've been dealing with a family problem that appears to be bigger than any idea, instinct, desire, approach any of us can dream up. A dear and close relative has an alcohol problem, coupled with possibly other chemical inbalances, that has brought her to the edge of disaster and the lives of those around her into chaos.

For a while this was a 24/7 operation since she was staying with us. Yeah, yeah, I know I think I can solve any problem if I just try hard enough. Well, I failed and, after four weeks of chaos, drove myself into a depression with the effort.

The chaos made it so difficult to get even the simplest thing done, unless it involved commitments to other people. I did manage to have 27 people for Thanksgiving, teach four days, pull together a dinner for Christmas eve involving a roast goose, overpack for our trip South. However, that was when I was faced with daily chaos and had something to fight. I was energized with the desire to "handle" things. When my relative left, three weeks ago, the depression set in. Now, the simplest phone call or errand has just sits in my brain, saying "handle this today, handle this today."

All I have been able to think is that I have no business being depressed. I'm not about to be homeless, have tons of business scheduled for this year, have a husband who has been a saint about this, friends who have stepped up to this messy plate to offer wonderful support. So today, I am just stopping the depression crap.

My fabulous sister-in-law once told me that when one is depressed and is told the solution is sitting on a desk ten feet away, the ten feet is impossible to negotiate. So today, I just jumped over the ten feet. Ate a good breakfast, am about to start a quarter's worth of expense reports, and will get out to walk my friends, Eddie and Lulu, who have been spending a lot of unsupervised time in the yard.

I'm writing this so you will all hold be accountable.

One other point is that I am blown away by all the old friends, some life-long, of my relative, who have gone to great lengths to contact me with concern. My relative is a remarkable person to engender this kind of love after what turns out to be forty years of creating chaos in her own life and the lives of those who care about her. Each friend is from a different part of her life, and very clear about the problem, so it is especially impressive. Lesser friends would have given up years ago.

Whew!

2009-12-12T08:43:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I had the time and energy to sit down and write.

We had 27 folks for Thanksgiving, and, although I had a bit of a meltdown and ended up having an apertif while still wet from the shower and wearing my robe, it was a big success. As always, the group was a great mix: Two French, one Pole, one Italian, two Koreans, one chinese, one German, one Hungarian, two Washingtonians, two Montrealers, four American blacks, two gay people, two French speaking children, two prominent conservative newsmakers, an ex-congressman, at least one prominent liberal activist. You name them, they were here, loving each other and eating great food, much of it brought by the guests.

I was exhausted.

The following Sunday we left at 4:30 am with Jack Buechner and Andrea Dravo for a week on the Seadream Yacht. It was the first time ever traveling with another couple, and was just great. That boat continues to dazzle, and is an amazing bargain to boot. A hundred people, unlimited champagne and no nightlife. What could be more relaxing?

The day after our return, I hit the road again. Two days in Atlanta, working from dawn to after dusk, then off to Minneapolis, where I arrived at my hotel after midnight and left for work before eight am. Te

Yin and Yang

2009-11-16T18:31:00.000-08:00

Life is so much fun. The wonderful Mr. Ozawa exceeded expectations in dealing with the gutters, soffit and eaves and the drainage situation. It rained for days and the basement is dry for the first time in years. He'll return tomorrow to discuss the next step in wrestling Grey Gardens into submission. No animal sightings except for the three hundred flies hanging in my bathroom when I returned from Vancouver Saturday night.

I figured out that the flies were actually promoted maggots who had been dining on whatever dead animal was stinking up my bathroom. It was under the floor boards, and they used the hole in the bathroom floor from the removed radiator to "move on up." I think they were part of the "jobs saved or created" group.

I felt like Tippi Hedron in "The Birds" as I ran to open the window and then slam the door. A half an hour later most of them were gone.

Today, I got thrown out of Whole Foods because the manager noticed Eddie and Lulu in the baby carriage, I refuse to leave them tied up when we walk to Whole Foods, and had no idea it was illegal to take them into the store in a carrier as opposed to all the real human babies with dirty diapers.

I was terribly discouraged, so I decided to walk down to the next shopping complex and have a bagel with cream cheese, a real treat. After walking with the dogs and the carriage for fifteen mintues, I was informed that the minimum for a credit card was ten bucks. No cash. Saved from the calories! Walked home.

Got an email from the gal on ebay from whom I had purchased some Hermes clip earrings. She sent me the receipt from ebay. It had the wrong address on it. She also sent the ebay instructions for delivery which had the wrong address on it. Somehow the earrings were sent to South Carolina to an address where I stayed briefly last December. I checked my ebay and paypal account and found my address was correct. After three phone calls and more than an hour on the phone, i finally got ebay to agree they made a mistake and they will refund the money to both the seller and me.. I called South Carolina. The post office said the mailperson had left the package on the front porch at the address. I called the agent who handles the villa. She called the cleaning woman who not only had the package, but said she had opened it and had the earrings. Soon I will have them. Maybe.

Then i went to pick up Ullrich's car at the mechanic because I am without transportation. The wonderful mechanic had ordered parts for my recently deceased Honda del Sol, which Ullrich totaled on Monday, and I told him I would pay for them anyway because I knew he had put the money out. He said he could return the two that weren't special order, so it only cost me a hundred dollars. So honest. So sweet.

Speaking of honest and sweet, the housekeeper at the great hotel where I stayed in Vancouver, the Opus, called me back as I left the room to tell me I had left some money on the desk. I told her it was for her. Should have doubled it. More honesty. More sweetness.

So, up/down/up/down. Always interesting and fun. Plus my clients last week from Perkins and Will and Busby Perkins and Will were the best.

Love and Support from friends and strangers

2009-11-03T05:32:00.000-08:00

My dear friend, Pat Magee, just flew back to St. Louis, leaving me and my house in much better shape. I knew Pat in high school, although we didn't hang out because she was in the intelligent and directed tier at our school and I was a member of the smart and undirected group. Pat tells me they envied my group because we all laughed and got into college without appearing to concentrate, and they suspected we had sex. We didn't envy them at all, even though we knew they were our superiors and admired them. We did not suspect any of them of having sex.

Fast forward to our fortieth high school reunion. I walked in the door, Pat was right there, we started talking, and it was like falling in love at first sight. We have been tight friends since. She lived in the Bay Area (SFO) within walking distance of Oracle where she was happy to no longer work. Every time I went to SFO for biz, and sometimes just to play, I stayed at her magical apartment. She moved back to St. Louis last year, but I have yet to visit.

When I called a couple of weeks ago, at the height of the Grey Gardens fiasco, she volunteered to fly out and help me get things in order, and she did. We just finished a five day laugh-a-thon while we cleaned closets, and bought stuff the house needed to survive. (space heaters, vacuum cleaner capable of being pushed by a human, de-humidifier, innumerable baskets and storage things and, her very favorite, SPACE BAGS). I think our mere presence also scared the rat and raccoons away. The wonderful Mr. Ozawa, the contractor working on the roof, got rid of the squirrels.

I am so grateful. I am so lucky.

We even took the cushions for the banquette, which have been sitting in the basement for FOUR YEARS to the upholsterer.

The support from strangers is also a wonderful thing. In the last few days I've run into remarkable people working at Loewes. Even had the same happy check out gal two days in a row and she remembered us. The upholstery people, whom I haven't seen in years, were charming and upbeat, and the overworked gal at Boston Market, of all places, made me ignore the wait while I watched her handle three things simultaneously, remaining cheerful and competent. This is how the world should run, and it wouldn't cost a penny more.

The third source of joy in my every day life is the wondrous team of J and Quinn. I had about given up on my beloved nephew, Jack, ever developing sensible taste in women and then J appeared. I couldn't have created a more perfect partner for him. She is smart, strong (a professional firefighter), brave (went to Smith- haahah), beautiful, funny and ernest. She has produced a most gorgeous, happy, smart baby, the lovely Miss Quinn.

The amount of time, energy, creativity and love J. has put into this latest endeavor is impressive by any new mother standards. She did this while producing and storing gallons of mother's milk, working with her parents as a partner in their high level human development business, keeping in touch by Skype with Jack who is in Afghanistan, and managing three dogs and two cats as well as a zillion friends and over-interested relatives like me. Her blog is the first page I turn to every day, and I can't get enough of the pictures.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to both friends and strangers for keeping the grace in circulation. I'll try to do my part.

A Suitable Man, love in the age of disappointment

2009-10-19T13:40:00.000-07:00

The contractor we spoke to on Saturday has already given us a proposal, which is reasonable. We know he is good because he rebuilt a friend's house. This feels like the real thing. Match.com or EHarmony of the construction world. "I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love with a wonderful guy." Hope this isn't too hot not to cool down.

Pray for us.

On another good news front, the post office finally coughed up three packages they have not been able to locate for a month. I returned the large identifying Postal Department sticker the postman had jammed in my mailbox rather than peel and apply to the outside of the unit.

Am I a fascist because I wish the postal workers ignoring the customers wouldn't speak Chinese to each other while avoiding eye contact with the ever longer line?.

Healthcare under the government will be even more interesting than it is with insurance companies.

Grey Gardens, deja vu

2009-10-18T19:08:00.000-07:00

This Grey Gardens stuff has to stop.

Tonight Eddie and Lulu were chasing the rat around the kitchen when I walked in. I freaked and opened the door, hoping he would leave of his own volition. The pups backed off at the last minute and he ran toward his hole. I ran back in the kitchen and he froze. I had on boots and I stomped. Couldn't believe I could do such a thing. He was still alive so I stomped again and then kicked him three yards and out the door. I was freaked. How do people kill things, much less other people?

Ullrich swears his last words were "Don't take me to Palisades General." You have to live in Northern New Jersey to appreciate that.

I just hope it was "him." If I killed a teenager I would feel really bad.

And then I went to Lucianne's to drink vodka and eat pot roast and brownies. It's ok now.

Overwhelmed

2009-10-17T17:14:00.000-07:00

I've just been feeling so overwhelmed. I have five properties to take care of and they are all in various stages of disrepair, I can't find contractors, people don't show up, and it is too, too discouraging. I feel like one of those spinsters from the movies in my childhood who gives up on love because her heart has been broken time and time again. I've been ripped off, robbed, disappointed and deluded by every trade in the business.

Right now, the condo in Ptown needs a paint job, and unknown other things. We had a major leak this year and I haven't had time to get up there to check things so it will be ready for rental again next season.

The mountain cabin is without a furnace or hot water heater, and the siding is half finished. There are holes in the walls from the last plumbing repairs, and the grass wasn't mowed once this year. To say it needs cleaning is beyond understatement. The mouse poop alone is daunting. (Why do they like to have babies under my duvet?)

The house in France needs a total renovation, the paper work is mountainous and approval takes forever. We do have some great people who will probably be the contractors. Google "Sweet French Cottages." Rain and Lance are very talented.

The rental house in Edgewater seems to be in good shape except for the enormous old stove sitting outside which Best Buy didn't take away and can't seem to schedule pick up.

The other house in Edgewater is very Grey Gardens, with three broken windows, peeling paint, a leak or two, some mold, and sensitive electrical connections. There is a dead bulb in the bathroom light which will not budge after eighteen years of providing service. We may still have the rat, the raccoons are getting in the basement somehow and the squirrels' nest is expanding in the eaves. Eddie peed in his sleep the other night. Jeez. I feel like it.

I am also horribly disorganized. Although this house has ten rooms, most of them are small and there is little storage space. I know there is too much stuff, but I love the clothes I bought twenty years ago and still wear them. It makes for bad feng shui though.

Every day I make a list and every day it gets longer and more frustrating. Business is good, which is a lifesaver, because it helps me feel competent. On the other hand, I stayed with my dear friend and client, Marsha Kellogg, last week when I was up in Hartford to do some work with her, and her house could be in a magazine tomorrow morning and you could even show the inside of the closets and drawers.

So, what to do? I realized that I felt helpless because I am helpless. Support is called for and I'm not getting it around here or there. The Solution: I called my dear friend, Pat Magee, and she will fly in from St. Louis for four days to help me attack the situation. Since that phone call this morning, I've accomplished more than I have for weeks. We got a highly recommended contractor to show up and promise to get back to us next week. I just fixed the vacuum cleaner's three problems and am loaded for bear. Even threw out two broken pieces of furniture, and am planning on washing my face and brushing my teeth BEFORE I go to bed.

The moral seems to be that one needs morale. Just knowing there is even one person you can call makes all the difference. It sounds so corny and I feel so inadequate that I can't just get all this stuff handled, but it is what it is and now I'm feeling fine.